Cleveland, OH - Research scientists at the famous Cleveland Clinic have concluded research on a subject that many say should have received more attention years ago-the reason winning female contestants on the hit show American Idol develop thunder thighs almost immediately after beginning solo artist careers.
The anomaly doesn't seem to affect male contestants but is pretty much consistent throughout the years for female contestants. In addition, female performers who are not contestants but who make guest appearances on the show also seem to suffer from the same condition. While unwilling to name names, the research panel did allude to the fact that the proof was quite evident during the broadcast of the finale of the American Idol show broadcast on Wednesday.
"The top half of these women for the most part appear quite normal and well proportioned; however, from the waist down to the knees, the thighs of these women are quite frankly ginormous," said one research assistant. "Oddly enough, from the knee down, again, the women have normal-sized calves and ankles. It is one of the strangest research projects we have ever worked on, but rest assured we will get to the bottom of it eventually."
Dr. Dockter, the lead medical research scientist on the case told us "We have just about exhausted every medical test we can think of to determine if there are thyroid imbalances, cases of over-eating, or some type of hormonal imbalance, but everything checks out normal. We are now in the process of going outside our comfort zone and looking into the possibility that the problem may lie with the wardrobes these women are made to wear. Quite honestly," he said, "all that leather, mesh, spandex, and what not is hardly flattering on someone who is already likely to look 10 pounds heavier in front of a camera."
At any rate, Dr. Dockter promises that results of their findings will be forthcoming in the next month or so, and they are hoping to publish them, along with the names of the women whose thighs were the subject of this research, in the next issue of Variety. "Hopefully," said the good doctor, "having these women come forward to discuss this most sensitive issue will enable future female contestants to understand the problem thunder thighs can cause and take steps early on to either alter their eating habits, regulate their hormonal balances, or find a designer who truly understands the concept of making a woman performer look her absolute best while in front of television cameras."
