Paul Daniels - Britain's Sexiest Man!

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 13 May 2010

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Now That's Magic!

Following revelations that the diminutive magician has entertained over 300 lovers in his largely hairless life, Paul Daniels has been confirmed, nay cemented as 'Britain's Sexiest Man'

So says Ivy Oakenleaf of North Shields, Tyne and Wear, the 76 year old founder member of the 'I Demand Sex With Paul Daniels Now! Club'

Along with her bingo friend, Eileen Grubscrew, Ivy has long maintained that Paul Daniels is the sexiest man in Britain, and has turned her bedroom into a shrine to the "Not A Lot!" star.

"He's much sexier than Cameron, and Clegg, in a William Hague kind of way," Ivy told our reporter. "He makes me go all weak at the knees when he ties Debbie McGee up and gets that wicked little twinkle in his eye."

"Weak at the knees, yes." Eileen concurred.

"And he's way sexier than David Dickinson," Ivy added. "And that Des Lynam's just sooo last year pet."

Ivy and Elsie have been holding raffles and bring and buy sales in Ivy's front garden for seventeen years now, in order to hopefully have a life sized tribute statue erected to Daniels in their North Shields street.

"That'd be reet canny," Ivy told us.

"Aye," enthused Eileen. "And wuz could rub wursells up agin it like dogs in heat!"

"Rub wursells...yes..." sighed Ivy.

At this point our reporter made his excuses and fled.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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