Jesse James Calls Sandra Bullock Goody Two-Shoes

Funny story written by Charpa93

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

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Goody Two-Shoes

Los Angeles, CA - In a complete turnabout, Jesse James decided to come out swinging against the woman who, until recently, was the light of his life. After being caught with a number of women, all of whom were not his wife (basically because she is just one woman), James has been raked over the coals in the press and by his family and friends. Up until now, he has acted as if he has a clue as to why he is being treated this way, and at times even acted with some sense of remorse for his actions, but something has snapped and he is now totally on the defense.

"Sandy's what you call a goody two-shoes. She's always making people think she is this very nice, very forgiving woman who can do no wrong. And she really is that. So I ask you, 'who the hell can live up to those standards?' I know I sure as hell can't, so yeah, I'm a heel, but she's a goody two-shoes and I don't know about you, but that's nothing to be proud of, you know, being a goody two-shoes and all."

When James was asked exactly what a goody two-shoes was, he said he wasn't quite sure, "but I believe it's someone who always wears the best shoes, and shows them off, but not too much, you know, like it's all good and all but not too good, and like she's always being a goody-goody, you know? Like I could give a rat's ass, like I'm all goody-goody gumdrops, ok?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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