Sandra Bullock Locks Monster Garage Down Adopts Demon Child

Written by Cuff

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

image for Sandra Bullock Locks Monster Garage Down Adopts Demon Child
Get this spawn of satan out of here!

Blind Side actress Sandra Bullock finally ditched her bitch in divorce court and then announced she was adopting a child. No one cares about Jesse James' exit but the curious part is the child who is known due to recent press about him being sent back to Russia with a note from his mother.

Damien Thorne caused an international stir that prompted the Russians to forbid adoptions. Czar Putin had taken a special interest in the case and had the tyke living with him in Moscow.

Apparently Putin agreed to Sandra's request after the little hell spawn had set fire to the Kremlin as well as the house staff of the palace being terrorized by a pack of ravenous Cujos.

Our only guess as to Sandra's action is that she needs some soulless fiend around in order to spice up her otherwise boring life.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more