Sandra Bullock Might Consider Selling Her Best Actress Oscar

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 20 April 2010


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A rundown old trailer house which appears to be the only possession that Jesse James will end up with after the divorce.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Rumours abound that one of Sandra Bullock's closest friends, comedian George Lopez has remarked to fellow Hispanic Salma Hayek that Bullock might be contemplating selling the Academy Award she recently received for Best Actress for the movie Blind Side.

Lopez apparently said that Sandra told him that the thrill, joy, and honor of winning the Oscar has been forever tarnished thanks to the womanizing antics of her soon-to-be-ex-husband Jesse James, aka "Mr. Shit Head."

Lopez added that Sandra told him that as far as she is concerned Jess the Mess can go ahead and stick his little 3-inch wiggle widget (wienie) in as many tattooed bitches as he can find.

Bullock apparently said that the reason that Jess perfers women who are completely covered with tattoos from head to heel is because those women tend to be heavy drinkers and as a result they are way to drunk to notice that Jess's pee pee is the same size as Jon Gosselin's and Sean Penn's.

Sandy, as Lopez calls her, then supposedly pointed out that no one knows it but Jesse owns about 230 Nazi helmets which he has stashed in a shed in their back yard in Austin. Sandra said that Jesse also keeps about $50,000 in cash in a Mrs. Tuckers Lard Bucket which sits next to his life-size plaster of Paris statue of Adolf Hitler.

In other news. Reports coming out of Iceland are that the government of Iceland has offered Gabourney Sidibe, who weighs 603 pounds, $40,000 plus all expenses to fly to Iceland and sit on the volcano Eyjafjallajokull and hopefully stifle its volcanic eruptions.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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