BEVERLY HILLS - Larry King, the 76-year-old host of CNN's Live With Larry King has just announced that he has filed for divorce from his eighth wife Shawn Southwick King.
King, joked that he was giving that other King from England, Henry VIII, a bit of competition.
Mrs. Larry King numero ocho (number eight), said that her and Larry had, had a horrific argument due to the fact that she had refused to administer some Preparation H to his ugly looking you-know-what.
Mrs. King said that she had finally gotten to the point where she had, had her fill of dealing with Preparation H, Compound W, WD-40, Absorbine Junior and Senior, and about half a dozen ointments, salves, creams, elixirs, balms, emollients, liniments, antiseptics, and orifistic suppositories.
Shawn said that the last straw was when Larry told her to clean his tonsils with her tongue. She said that when she refused he told her that her sister Shannon had never once complained about his request for tongue tonsil cleaning.
She said that Larry caught himself but it was too late. She yelled at the 76-year-old relic that she was taking the boys and going away for the weekend to Dubai to think about divorcing his sorry seven and half decade old ass.
Larry decided that he would go ahead and beat her to the punch and file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable wrinkles. Although Shawn is 26 years younger than her husband she does have quite a bit of wrinkles from her forehead to her labia majora and her chin to her G-spot.
King pointed out that he has told Shawn dozens of times to get plastic surgery on her face so that she does not end up looking like Brigitte Bardot, who is 75, but looks 95, due to her many years of unprotected sunbathing in the nude.
To view some rather yucky unretouched photographs of Brigitte Bardot's sun wrinkled maracas log on to www.brigittebardotswrinkledtits.pix