Robert Pattinson Angered By Kristen Stewart Proposal Rumours

Written by Skoob1999

Monday, 12 April 2010


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Robert Pattinson Angered By Kristen Stewart Proposal Rumours
Is This The Death Of Comedy?

Robert Pattinson - Edward Cullen out of the Twilight franchise - was said by friends today to be really ticked off about the media reporting that he has proposed to sweetheart Kristen Stewart - Bella, out of the Twilight franchise - saying that what had started out as a bit of a joke had been blown out of all proportion.

It is reported that Pattinson and Stewart enjoy each other's company a great deal, but both have repeatedly stated that marriage is not on either of their agendas, mainly because they consider themselves not ready for such a big step, and also because of their hectic work schedules.

Pattinson is said to have complained that the media were just using Kristen and his names to sell copy, and described certain media outlets as 'parasitical.'

"Robert just thinks that this whole deal is getting totally out of control," one friend told us. "He even had one certifiable nut-job saying that he was to propose to Kristen in Budapest and honeymoon in Transylvania in order to really get into the vampire legend. Which wouldn't have been nearly so bad had the hack author taken a little time over the article and not tapped it out on a laptop while he was taking a shit or something. Frankly I'm not surprised that Robert is pissed off. I would be."

Our attempts to contact Kristen Stewart for a comment on the subject drew a blank, as one of her PR people informed us that she was taking a day off with Doctor Dolittle hunting for Cheryl Cole's ring up Mister Ed's arse along with Taylor Lautner, dancing Derek Hough, Gordon Brown and Mel Gibson out of Braveheart.

Taylor Lautner had reportedly apologised for his absence claiming a previous engagement at Molineux watching Wolves.

Katie Price was flat on her back with Alex Reid and Kerry Katona talking about Feng Shui and the size of Peter Andre's cock. While Taylor Swift allegedly laughed her tits off at the Coronation Street Lesbian kiss.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more