Written by Hartley

Wednesday, 31 March 2010

image for Katie Price: I'm Better Than Kerry Katona
If Pete doesn't start cracking up over Katie soon then the Stork's coming in to sort it aaaht!!

Busty beauty Katie Price, has today lashed out at her ex-husband Peter Andre posing for photos in glossy celebrity magazines with his friend Kerry Katona.

Katona, who recently signed with the same management and legal team as Andre, has been to see him in concert twice with friends. The two are also reported to have had an intimate romantic dinner in an all-you-can-eat-for-a-tenner buffet restaurant with several lawyers and managers present.

Speaking from her Daily Price Conference Katie said, "What's he knocking about with her for? She's supposed to be my mate!! I know I haven't contacted her for years but she was my bridesmaid not his! He is SUPPOSED to be having a nervous breakdown and panic attacks because I've implemented an evil plan to make him jealous with Alex, but he's not, he's knocking around with that bitch! He needs to sort himself out and start crying over me again. I'm better than her - she's just a poor version of me!"

A source close to Price said, "Katie is seething over this. She believes that even after divorce you should be able to control your ex's actions and relationships. She knows she's taken almost every step possible to keep Pete in a state of anxiety and depression, but he's just doing whatever he wants and taking no notice. It's just not on. If he continues refusing to rise to the bait like this then Kate will have no choice but to pull out the trump card and announce she's having Alex's baby."

Alex Reid was unavailable for comment as he was fighting with Harvey over who gets to play with the lego.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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