Cage-fighting, cross-dressing wannabe movie star Alex Reid is reported to have been ordered by his new wife to enter an intensive therapy programme.
Speaking from a top secret location, to be exclusively revealed later in her TV series What I Did Next, Katie Price said, "I want my relationship with Alex to be completely, totally, utterly and entirely different to what I had with Pete. I don't like to talk about Pete, and I am 100% over him, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention him."
With a face she's chemically prevented the world from reading, the bastion of femininity continued, "Alex has been enrolled on an intensive hypnotism therapy programme. He has to do it, I'm managing him now and it's in the contract. The non-reversible procedure will ensure Alex never ever falls out of love with me like what Pete did. Alex will love me forever and he will always believe I am the best wife in the world ever... That's what Pete never understood. Woo!!! Hoo!!!"
Alex Reid was unavailable for comment and was last seen being bundled into a car by Paul McKenna and Derren Brown outside Numb Nuts Gym in Brighton.
