SuBo Still Upset Over Old Flame Accidentally Stabbing Himself While Skinning Sheep

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

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It was one of the darkest days in Susan Boyle's life according to a former neighbor, if not the darkest.

"She was walking around with her beau back in 19 ought 92 when it happened", stated Bessie McBeth. "As far as I know, they never even kissed as they were saving themselves for marriage. Even if someone came by, they would quickly quit holding hands and pretend to be trying to swat a fly."

Although many of SuBo's fans had heard about her one boyfriend back home, this was all new to us here and apparently, to everybody else. So I knew that I, Dan Hilliard, Ass Reporter for UP2 had a winner.

"What happened after that Ms. Nessie?"


"Sorry, confused you with another Scot."

"Aweeeeeellll. Early one morning while still dark and only a few weeks before they planned to elope to Midges City, Jimmy Blair got up to go kill a sheep and make him some sheepskins for their honeymoon or that's the way the police figured it later."

"Go On."

"They found him with a butchered sheep but he had accidentally stobbed hisself."

Tragedy seems to follow this lady around. If I were Simon Cowell I'd watch my step. There might just be an ancient curse upon the family.

Of course, that bit of news might cheer some folks up who watch the show.

This is Dan Hilliard of UP2.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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