Ouija board cast Kristen 'Wankers Titters' Stewart for 'Wet, Toilsome Lechery' says director

Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 18 February 2010

image for Ouija board cast Kristen 'Wankers Titters' Stewart for 'Wet, Toilsome Lechery' says director
A clip from the movie rushes

Hollywood - (Salacious Mess): A cryptic ouija board message predicted Twilight star Kirsten Stewart would be a box office smash hit, Hollywood director Jake Scott revealed today.

He cast her in his Berlin Film Festival movie Welcome to the Rileys when the seance gave him 'Wankers Titters' as the perfect actress to star in 'Wet, Toilsome Lechery.'

Decoding the garbled messages was "part of the joy" of casting Ms Stewart as a New Orleans foul-mouthed, marijuana addicted stripper-cum hooker, Scott added enigmatically.

Stewart, 19, plays Mallory in Scott's movie opposite The Sopranos star James 'Nod If J'aime Glans' Gandolfini who stars as her protector and mentor Doug Riley.

The movie is predicted to rake in $$$s millions and propel Stewart into the Hollywood megabux earners' league.

Robert Pattinson = 'Not Brain-Rot Pest'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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