Madonna's Boy Toy, Jesus Luz, Finally Dumps Her

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 5 February 2010

image for Madonna's Boy Toy, Jesus Luz, Finally Dumps Her
Madonna showing that the old 'hair on her underarm' rumor is simply just that a rumor.

After dating for one year, Jesus Luz, aka Madonna's 'Boy Toy' has finally decided to dump the materialistic iconic icon.

Jesus, who Madonna called 'Yes Jes' spoke to Brazilian reporters as he lounged out on Rio's famous Ipanema Beach surrounded by some of the most beautiful, scantily-clad, tanned young women in Rio.

The 23-year-old male model said that he realized that the 28 year age difference between him and Madonna, whom he called "Granny Maddy" behind her back was just too much to have to deal with on a daily basis.

Jesus said that it is great to now date a girl his age and smell the wonderful fragrance of daffodils, roses, and young love. He blushingly said that with Madonna the smell was more like Ben Gay, Absorbine Jr., and Preparation H.

He laughed and said that one of the few things that he and Madonna actually had in common was their mutual love for water. Both could drink upwards of 20 bottles a day.

Luz also added that another thing that he and Madonna had in common was each one's very strong love for Madonna.

Jesus smiled and said that he was forever having to explain modern day terms to "Granny Maddy" such as bling-bling, junk in her trunk, and fa shizzle my nizzle.

He pointed out that Madonna would sometimes mention words and names that he had never heard before such as Dick Clark, lava lamps, M.A.S.H., fallout shelters, and hula hoops.

Jesus laughed and admitted that when he first heard Madonna mention hula hoops he really thought she was talking about a basketball team from Hawaii.

And he said that he thought fallout shelters where clinics where men and women went to get treated for hair loss.

Madonna was eating lunch at a Brooklyn McDonald's when she was asked about Jesus dumping her. She angrily put down her Big Mac, and replied that she never did like Jessie, as she called him, because he was always asking her stupid questions like who were The Kinks, what did Davy Crockett invent, and what in the world was The Mickey Mouse Club.

Madonna gained her composure and asked the reporter if Jessie had mentioned her cellulite, stretch marks, or sagging a*s. When told no, she looked surprised and said that she was just asking because she had heard people ask those kinds of questions about Lonnie Anderson, Barbara Walters, and Tina Louise.

In a developing story. There is an interesting sports rumor floating around that has the Baltimore Colts trying to trade Peyton Manning to the Minnesota Vikings for Brett Favre.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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