Michael Jackson Elected To Pedophile Hall of Fame in First Year of Eligibility

Thursday, 4 February 2010

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A special mural charting the changes in MJ's noise and Jackson's Johnson will also be on display.

The late pop singer Michael Jackson has had another honor come his way with his selection to the American Pedophile Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility. Jackson, who has versions of his life story or tributes playing almost constantly MTC, TV-Guide Netword, BET, or E!, was unavailable for comment due to his being dead.

Michael was selected in the first year of eligibility. In order to be eligible, the honoree must be dead or all of his victims must have reached at least 18 years of age.

An entire gallery within the Hall of Fame will be dedicated to MJ and will include the bed where he took boys to sleep with him, transcripts of his trials, copies of cancelled checks where he paid off parents, thousands of photos of Jackson grabbing his crotch in music videos and concert stages, and life sized murals of scenes from Neverland Ranch.

This display will be even larger than the gallery that holds the tribute room for the American Catholic Priest.

Others selected this year include:

  • David Warren, a former high school wrestling coach who was found naked in a locker room whirlpool bath with three cheerleaders and two six packs.
  • Secondary Education Teacher Anne Adair, who slept her way though all of the boys of her junior high school science club (special recognition due to these boys being all science geeks).
  • The Producers of the "Girls Gone Wild" series, for managing to sneak in at least one topless 15 year old in every sex video.
  • "Creepy Old Uncles" (a special prize awarded to all creepy uncles with roaming hands who always want to hug the children).


Induction ceremonies will take place April 2nd. Warren and Adair will be unable to attend due to continuing incarceration. Janet was going to represent the Jackson family, but declined when she discovered that no one cared if she had a wardrobe accident (since she's four times older than the objects of the board's affections).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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