WASHINGTON DC--Congress, seeking a bilateral issue with which to overcome vitriolic partisanship, declared February 29th to be Micheal Jackson Day, honoring the "King of Pop".
The honor follows on the heels of a Lifetime Achievement Grammy for the deceased singer.
President Obama, who is well known to prefer classical music, did not express any personal opinion on Jackson's accomplishments, but immediately issued several presidential orders to honor MJ:
1) Billy Jean is to be played continuously from loudspeakers in all public areas surrounding the Capitol building.
2) Jackson's biological children Paris and Prince Micheal are to be invited to give an address on the Mall about their experiences as black children growing up in America.
3) Children who visited Neverland Ranch over the years will be invited to participate in writing a book of games for adults and children to play together, to include such Jackson favorites as "Find Mr. Applehead" and "Tickle Party".
4) A nationwide "Spot the Jacko" contest is to be held with the public and news media invited to report on sightings of Jackson impersonators, as they give short unannounced performances across the nation before attempting to evade reporters.
Obama praised Jackson's breaking down of racial stereotypes, paving the way for his own acceptance by the public.
"Micheal Jackson proved that the worth of a man is not determined by the color of his skin, but rather that a man of worth can determine his own skin color," said Obama.
