Lindsay Lohan Gets Restraining Order For Stalker

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 21 December 2009

image for Lindsay Lohan Gets Restraining Order For Stalker

"He's nuts, that the best description I can give you", Lindsay Lohan allegedly told the police officer on duty in Los Angeles last week and has since taken out a restraining order on one James Robert Stuart.

Who is James Robert Stuart? He's an out of work comedian and actor that Lohan apparently became friendly with in one of her rehab visits.

Lohan told her friend Janis Elms that Stuart would call all day until she had her number changed and he was constantly appearing wherever she went, so he has to be following her around.

When asked, Stuart did not deny anything.

"Does making 100 telephone calls to someone you're interested in mean I'm a stalker, I think not! Lots of friends call all the time."

"It's that stupid movie, 'Fatal Attraction' that has them all hot about obsessing on people. I don't obsess about my Lindsay. I am merely fond of the ground upon which she walks."

According to Stuart, Lindsay started the whole episode while they were both in rehab by saying "Hi!".

"You can see right there what she had in mind. Well, I'm not a druggy so I'm trying to get to her and get her some help before she overdoses or does something drastic. She once told me that she was going to do away with herself and then come after me."

"Now who is the stalker there? Can't answer that one can you?""

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more