Dolly Parton Admits That She Was Born With Large Breasts

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Monday, 4 January 2010


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image for Dolly Parton Admits That She Was Born With Large Breasts
If you were this boy, you'd smile too if Dolly Parton was getting her diaper changed next to you!

Country Music singing star and actress Dolly Parton admitted that she has always had trouble with her large breasts going back to childbirth. "While most babies get a normal, vaginal delivery," said Parton, "mine was a little bit different."

"It seems that my big old boobies were big young boobies back in them days. They was blockin' the birth canal so my Mama had to have one of them Cesarean operations where they cut open the belly and take the child out. They usually refer to that as a C-section, but on me they called it a Double D-section."

"When I was a baby, I had to wear what they called a nursing bra, cuz I was the only nursing baby that needed to wear a bra!"

"The only time that I ever got to go braless was when they'd load me up into that carseat. They'd rest my juggies up on that padded bar that runs across the front and I'd get a little bit of comfort and relief. Course, my boobies was in my face and I couldn't see nothin', but that's sometimes the price you gotta pay."

"Them other girls in the elementary school was jealous of my big old titties, so I thought that they was a curse. In fact, them girls cursed me for 'em every chance they got."

"I learned to milk my big titties early (no pun intended) and used 'em to get special treatment from teachers and the principal. High school teachers may be used to it, but ain't no third grade teacher ever had a little girl lean into him with her boobies and beg for a better grade on their paper. I like to drive 'em wild!"

"I guess my front end has been a blessin' and a cursin' over the years, but I wouldn't change a dad burn thang. All I gots to say is at least I ain't flat as a board like Taylor Swift. That girl needs to get herself a boob job!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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