After catching so much flak over awarding President Barack Obama with this year's Nobel Peace Prize, the committee says they will now consider adding the occurrence of big hooters and peckers to the qualifications.
"I don't know how else to keep people happy", stated Chairman Wong Ho. "This way whoever gets it will be able to whip one out and bring all the fussing and name-calling to a halt!"
Addressing the twin desires for greater exclusivity and a superiority more readily understandable by the less gifted general pubic, Wong claims the organization for people to qualify should be someone they all can admire, no matter how much peace they have brought to the world.
"We cannot please everyone just going by accomplishments."
When asked, people at random say they would support the new rule.
"Let's not forget Dolly Parton. She's done all this charity work in making sure that every child has books to read. Reading helps to learn things and the more you learn, well, the more...aw forget it and whip 'em out!"
"I think we should have both a male and a female winner", stated one lady in Gizzard Branch, Missouri. "I hear that that Morris Lemons over in Calloway County once helped an old lady across the road. And, well, you know. The rumor has always been...well..WHIP IT OUT THERE, MORRIS! hee hee"
Still not everyone was in full agreement.
"Unlike superior intelligence, penis or breast size does not correlate to a greater amount of success," said the presumably small-penised Dillbert Minnow of Somerset. "Not that I would put up a fuss or anything."
