Taylor Swift to Get Breast Implants, Says "Nobody Will Dump Me With Big Titties"

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Monday, 4 January 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

A boob job is in the works for country music star and actress Taylor Swift. The six foot tall singer, famous for her big hair and not-so-big rack, said that her lack of breasts are one of the things that led to her recent break up with movie heartthrob Taylor Lautner.

"He was mad because there was nothing for him to put his head between and motorboat. He said that it was more like a rowboat, because I was flatter than a couple of oars. Just wait a month, I'll be the Titanic out there. Men will line up to try to motorboat between my boobies!"

"I also wonder if Kanye West would have dissed me if he'd been able to look down the front of my dress or if he'd had this giant pair of double d's staring him in the face."

"Kellie Pickler had a boob job, and she's doing great. It did wonders for the careers of a lot of Hollywood starlets."

Taylor had to cut her interview short and run off to the gym. Her doctor advised her that she would need some muscle if she intended to hold up the weight of large breasts, as she's never had to develop any back muscle to hold up the weight of any breasts before.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more