Forget Groundhog Day, January 2nd Officially Designated Beaver Day!

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Thursday, 31 December 2009


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image for Forget Groundhog Day, January 2nd Officially Designated Beaver Day!
Not this kind...though it can be this hairy.

Those holiday partiers who think that they have to wait for Febraury 2nd (Groundhog Day) for the next official holiday have been given a reprieve. January 2nd has just been recognized by Congress as Beaver Day.

Women wishing to observe the festivities should, on this day, expose their beavers. They should then be kept naked for six weeks, even if they do display a five o'clock shadow.

Not exposing the beaver for six weeks will result in six weeks of being frigid.

A special out releases fat women and girls under eighteen from obeying the law (though school girls are allowed to expose themselves to classmates within two years of their age if no perverted teachers are present).

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was apparently confused by the vote, publically speaking out that this was a great event for environmentalists and that more holidays ought to be designated for wildlife. No one, however, desired to correct her misconceptions as they wanted the vote and law to carry. The bipartisan legislation passed the House and Senate with near unanimous support (the only dissenting votes coming from women legislatures and Ron Paul, who said that as a Gynecologist, he has seen enough pussy).

In Great Britain, members of Parlaiment that could be reached on the holiday week felt that "we should support our American allies and celebrate this holiday also."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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