Lindsay Lohan Seen with Big Bird after Anniversary Gala

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

image for Lindsay Lohan Seen with Big Bird after Anniversary Gala
The lmo after yellow feather cleaning

Riding high after a week's worth of celebrations for Sesame Street's 40th anniversary, Big Bird has been spotted out on the town with Lindsay Lohan in several exclusive clubs following the Sesame Street 40th anniversary gala.

Lohan, known to have attached herself to any type of father figure other than her own Pater Familius, was reported to be a big fan of the seven foot tall yellow bird. Close friends to Lohan were shocked after learning about the burgeoning cross-species relationship, and were anxious to provide comments to the press. Both Amy Winehouse and Courtney Love spoke to reporters about ways to guide Lohan back to a life without substance abuse. Winehouse and Love however, were too strung out to complete even the most basic of English sentences. Paparazzi on the scene took pity on the two has-been music queens and offered them handkerchiefs to wipe the drool from their respective chins.

The Big Bird, Lohan affair has been raging for at least a week with reported sightings near restaurants, dance clubs and one most notably in a limousine near a hot dog stand. Lohan was seen exiting the limo with small yellow feathers stuck to her lipstick, and occasionally falling out from under her Lycra mini-skirt.

When finally cornered and asked about any impropriety with Lohan, Big Bird replied, No, no, no. She's just a very nice girl who likes to practice her ABC's. She's already very good at the letters BJ, and ATM, while she taught me a new one too. I didn't know DATY meant Dining at the Y. It just goes to show you that you CAN teach an old bird, new tricks".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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