HOLLYWOOD HILLS - In a dramatic and highly unprecedented move Lindsay Lohan's beautiful look-a-like mother, Dina Lohan has announced to the entertainment media that she will be taking her daughter's place.
The elder Lohan stated that for the past year her daughter has seemed to just go from one messy incident into another messy incident.
Dina Lohan, an ex-New York City Rockette, Hooters Girl, and part-time Avon Lady told famed Internet blogger Perez Hilton that her daughter needs to take some time off from the limelight.
She added that Lindsay has spent so much time in the spotlight that she has actually gotten a third degree burn from it.
"Lindsay is not herself anymore" said a concerned Mrs. Lohan. She went on to say that it is as if she has become a Courtney Love - Amy Winehouse clone.
The 47-year-old Dina said that due to the continuous stress her daughter has been through lately she has gotten down to a sickly-looking 84 pounds. She remarked that she looked like Calista Flockhart, but only without Harrison Ford.
When Lindsay was asked to comment on her mother's remarks LiLo replied, "Yeah, what Mom said."
Mother and daughter have both agreed that Lindsay will be checking into The Happy Acres Home For The Tired & Stressed Out in Sausalito, California.
There she will go through a rigorous, two month, 27-step program. And when she leaves Happy Acres she will be her old happy-go-lucky self again; rested, refreshed, and minus $237,000, but hey she's rich.
Dina Lohan says that unlike her daughter she will not be lip-syncing when she performs Lindsay's songs such as "Confessions Of A Broken Heart," "Rumors," and "Symptoms Of You."