SAN FRANCISCO - Dr. Andy Nick Firebrick, a graduate of San Francisco's Golden Gate A&M University is one of the nation's leading experts on scandalous affairs.
He has pointed out that before the entire "Golf Gate" gallery gets to the 18th hole, our one time golfing hero may end up with as many as 100 "Golf Pals" to his credit.
He said that many are still holding back. They are getting all of their ducks lined up. Some of these women are holding back because they are married, engaged, or have boyfriends. Some just do not want to show the nation and the world that they were you know...b-i-t-c-h-e-s.
Firebrick who has been studying scandalous affairs and their aftermaths for three decades says that most affairs are simple one man, one woman relationships. And on a rare occasion it is one man, two women.
So what we have here is one man, twelve women! Holy mackerel Andy it certainly appears that Tiger's putter and balls are in the vise. And that can only spell settlements up the wazoo?
Fireside said people are always talking about poster girls for this and poster guys for this. Well let me say, that Tiger Woods could very easily be the poster boy for "Unsafe Sex."
So think about it. Each one of these "Golf Gate Girls" in actuality had sex with each one of the other "Golf Gate Girls."
And yes it is the season for that famous Christmas song "White Christmas." And let me say that there are about a dozen white women who will be changing the line that says, I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, to I'm dreaming of a green Christmas...a very green Christmas.
And turning quickly to the world of music. A lot of people are wondering what ever became of the Dixie Chicks? No one seems to know.