(Defecated News) In an attempt to improve his public standing alongside this weekend's planned appearance at The X Factor Finale, serial bum-bandit George Michael has opened a club in London this week.
'Fudge' is a 'members' only 24 hour club that caters for men with a love for all things anal.
"I felt like giving something back to the commmunty" explained George,
"Not like the community service I did after the public toilet incedent in the US, but giving something back to the gay community whom I love, so so so much"
The club will feature a 'Chocolate Bar' which will serve drinks, various cubicles around the dancefloor whereby newly found 'Fudgefriends' can exchange 'juices' and 'Fudge'
For an additional cost, one may hire two 'assistants' to stand either side of you, whom you may 'pull-off' in a style similar to 'skiing'