The KKK Says That Tiger Cannot Get Away With Molesting All Them Sweet Innocent White Women

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 10 December 2009


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The Good Old Boys of The Mimosa Flavored Mint Julep KKK marching in Biloxi on Lynyrd Skynyrd Day.

BILOXI, Mississippi - The exalted leader of The Mississippi Bayou Chapter of the Ku Klux Klan the Grand Wizard Dragon Elmer Waldo Dottflicker is one extremely upset redneck.

He reportedly said at last nights weekly meeting of the Good Old Boys of The Mimosa Flavored Mint Julep that he cannot believe how that Trigger Woodpecker (sic) can get away with molesting so many white women.

Dottflicker told the assembled 'meetin' goers' that if that Jon Gosselin-looking little dimpled white ball hitter ever shows his face anywhere near the Louisiana-Mississippi bayous they'll need a dozen of one or six of the other Tennessee bloodhounds to find little Mr. Woodpecker.

Assistant Grand Wizard Dragon Dusty "Bubba" Whitewater said "Alls I be sayins 'bout dat confounded bullshit is dat the skinny little rap singer is just damn lucky dat he don't live in Cornbread County."

When Whitewater was told that (Trigger Woodpecker) is a golfer and not a rap singer he replied, "Hey y'all, it make me no never mind, golfer, rap singer, round ball bouncer, it all be's da same damn thang. It's all nuthin' but an exercise in food stamps, disrespect, unbridled erectionism, and voter apathy."

Another member Jefferson Davis Pendergast stood up and nearly tripped on his robe. "Fellow KKK'ers, can one of y'all most honorable lily white fellers please tells good old JD here where in da world did dis black and white mixin' shit get started anyways."

A hush fell over the room. All of the members looked at each other. Suddenly, from the back of the room Bubba Hillyback hollered out "Dat shit be started by Sammy Davis Jr."

"That's right brother Bubba, you be's knowin' where dis shit started, it be started wid dat black trumpet player Sammy Davis Jr."

Dottflicker told Pendergast that Sammy Davis Jr. was a singer and dancer and not a trumpet player. Pendergast sighed, spit on the floor, took a drink out of his Southern Comfort bottle and replied, "Hey gopher shit, or gopher crap, or gopher do-do, it still has dat horrible gopher stink to it dunnit?

Dottflicker told the assembled assemblers that due to the fact that the time kinda got away from them due to this current events shit and all that he decided that they will not have time to discuss their annual New Year's Eve Hokey Pokey Dance down at The Veterans of Bull Run Convention Barn.

He stated that he just wanted everyone to know that on the 28th of December the local chapter of The Good Old Boys of The Mimosa Flavored Mint Julep KKK is planning on chartering a Greyhound Bus for $815 and driving on over to Orlando to pay this rap singer a visit.

He reminded the members to be sure and save the date.

Dottflicker then remarked, "Thanky my fine fellow KKK'ers and now lets all tear in to all dat damn good lookin' fried okra, grits and gravy, fried chicken lips, possum titties, and barbecued bovine balls dat my sweet little woman of 31 years, Mrs. Dottie Dot Dottflicker cooked up with her precious little non-arthritic Dixieland KKK hands.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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