Tiger Woods Puts His Wrecked 2010 Black Cadillac Escalade SUV On eBay

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 11 December 2009

image for Tiger Woods Puts His Wrecked 2010 Black Cadillac Escalade SUV On eBay
A crowd of tourists who paid $14 each to tour the grounds of Tiger Woods Orlando mansion.

ORLANDO - Tiger Woods has reportedly placed his 2010 black Cadillac Escalade SUV which was involved in that Thanksgiving Day hit and run on eBay.

Tigers manager Upton Courtquist stated that due to the vast amounts of possible out-of-court settlements that Mr. Woods will probably be facing in the near future he is having to make arrangements to sell off some of his property and possessions in order to start raising the needed capial.

The first item to be placed on eBay will be the infamous Escalade SUV that was involved in the unfortunate hit and run incident.

The car is drivable although until it can be properly fixed right turns are really going to be a bitch, for want of a better word. Left turns are really no problem once you get over the initial logistically enhanced bump.

Courtquist said that originally Tiger wanted to have it fixed and continue using it to run errands for his wife, but he soon realized that it would only dredge up old memories of the early morning hours when he got hit by that 18-wheeler in his driveway.

Regarding the blood stains on the inside of the car Courtquist stated that most were removed. He added that the wine stains are still there and that they are from the driver of the 18-wheeler who was holding a bottle of Thunderbird Wine when he plowed into Tiger's car after running the red light.

In related news. The Topps Bubblegum Trading Card Company is reporting that the Tiger Woods rookie trading card has dropped in value from $3,980 to a nickel.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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