Janet Jackson's American Music Awards Dance Number Breaks The Crotch-Grabbing Record

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 23 November 2009

image for Janet Jackson's American Music Awards Dance Number Breaks The Crotch-Grabbing Record
A photo of Janet Jackson's backyard showing rock scuptures of brothers Jermaine, Tito, and Marlon.

HOLLYWOOD - Janet Damita Jo Jackson, aka Janet Jackson performed the opening dance number on the American Music Awards show.

And her tribute to her brother Michael, had way much more crotch-grabbing than even her brother's songs ever used to have.

The official crotch-grabbing count number was 29, far surpassing the 17 number that Michael Jackson had established back in 1997.

Janet had emailed her sister LaToya and informed her that she was going for the "CG" record. LaToya had informed her sister that it was going to be a hard record to break (no pun intended regarding the word hard).

Miss Jackson even wore a pair of loose fitting Daniel Boone explorer pants that had a tremendously loose-fitting crotch kinda like something or other was missing, oh wait, something or other was missing.

Although Janet did not win any awards during the show she did receive honorable mention in the 'Lip Syncing' category.

This category proved to be a pretty popular one as she was joined by fellow lip syncers Jennifer "Two Butts" Lopez and Shakira, which is Colombian for 'excuse me but does my wiggling my ass 95 miles per hour make my butt look big?"

Let's hope that one day the powers that be decide to outlaw the stupid, lazy, and unfair practice of lip syncing.

Britney Spears recently found out at one of her concerts in Australia that the concert-going, tons-of-money-for-tickets fans are getting pretty fed up with paying all that money just to see some lazy-butted, prima donna diva jump around all over the stage while mouthing the words to her song.

Personally most people would prefer that these little money ho's sing while standing perfectly still, just as long as they are actually singing and not just pretending to sing.

That concert tradition that was highly incorporated by the likes of Madonna, Britney, and Miley is tantamount to the laugh tracks used by most of television's sitcoms. It's called 'Cheating!'

All of these prima donnaesque gals should take a look at the girls of country music such as Carrie Underwood, Miranda Lambert, Martina McBride, and Sara Evans and see that these good-looking ladies are actually singing and not just stupidly standing there and mouthing the words.

And talking about Janet Jackson. She revealed to Internet blogger Nautica Cappazuni back stage that she has signed to play the lead in the new movie from Touchstone Pictures entitled, The Truth About The Moon-Walking Open-Toed Pumps - The Michael Jackson Story.

To read more about the stupid ass lip syncing practice go to www.stupidasslipsyncing.lip

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more