Kirsty Alley Wedged In Revolving Door

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Kirsty Alley Wedged In Revolving Door
She Won't Budge Mate. Trust Me.

American celebrity and one time 'Cheers' star Kirsty Alley came to grief during a London break when she got jammed in a revolving door at the world famous Harrods of Knightsbridge department store.

What should have been a fun day out shopping for the star turned into a nightmare as her vast bulk caused her to get stuck in a revolving door.

Harrods staff rushed to Miss Alley's aid armed with axle grease and crowbars, vaseline and sledgehammers, but met with little success in rescuing the flailing star.

Store owner Mohammed Al Fayed even appeared as crowds started to block the street outside. He suggested that a staffer drive at the door in a golf cart to unjam it, but met with no success.

Al Fayed shook his head and retreated to his office. Muttering under his breath.

A short time later the London Fire Brigade arrived and Miss Alley started to hyperventilate, which only made matters worse. Firemen utilised a tool known as 'The Jaws Of Life' in an attempt to hydraulically force the door to move but abandoned the attempt when the rolly poly star started getting hysterical.

Much head scratching ensued.

Just when it appeared that Kirsty Alley was doomed to die jammed in the revolving door salvation arrived in the form of US tourist Bargis Tryhol, who immediately took control of the situation.

Mister Tryhol. of Newark NJ ordered Harrods staff to stop feeding Miss Alley liquidised Guinness and pepperoni pizza through a tube and to set up a screen to protect his modesty from the madding crowds.

This was duly done with Mohammed Al Fayed's blessing, and once screened from the crowds Mr Tryhol dropped his trousers to show Miss Alley the world's largest penis.

Miss Alley gasped, her bosom heaved and she popped out of the door like a champagne cork, demolishing half of the food court as she did so.

The hero of the day disappeared into the crowds.

A shellshocked Miss Alley could only mutter; "My God! The size of that thing! My GOD!"

More as we get it.

Ispired by a Bargis forum comment. Cheers Bargis!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more