London - (Pont d'Alma Mater Ass Mess): "And don't tell me bloody British intelligence isn't behind it!" was Harrabs grocer Mohammed Fayed's opening salvo this morning as the news of Michael Jackson's death began to sink in around the world.
Fayed says he fully expects a Princess Diana-style of whitewash inquest to be held in London "because of the hundreds of millions in box office takings" which legally belong to Jackson's heirs and testees.
The Phoney Pharaoh is also staging his own personal tribute to the dead singer with a massive store-wide Jackson retrospective featuring hundreds of thousands of photographs of himself, Michael Jackson, Princess Diana and er... himself! - and one or two that include Dodi.
Meanwhile royal butler Paul Burrell is bringing out his very own Michael Jackson Royal Video Diary featuring himself and the troubled singer counselling Princess Diana on his top ten bulimia throw-up tips.