Lawsuit Aimed At Dolly Parton For Boob Attack

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Monday, 10 August 2009

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If You're Short, Don't Stand Too Close

Everyone's sweetheart from Sevier County in east Tennessee has been charged with an eye-poking that left a man with some eye damage.

Apparently, Jesse Bradshaw, size five-foot six, was attending a performance in Dollywood on a night that Dolly herself was attending and after the show, he hung around to see if he could catch the eye of Dolly Parton on purpose.

Instead, she caught him in the eye just as she turned and the boob to eye contact caused a loud moan from Jessie.

"I hear that moan every time someone touches one of these", stated Ms. Parton." I didn't realize anyone had gotten hurt. My My!"

After determining that the eye-poking was strictly accidental and Dolly Parton's personal visit to the hospital, the two spent some time alone together and after everyone heard him shout, "OWEEE!!, Now I'm Completely Blind!" Mr. Bradshaw dropped all charges.

Most think that the case would have been dismissed anyway because Mr. Bradshaw had no proof that Dolly's boobs were sharp and pointy but big and melon-like and everyone knows that "If a pointy 48DD cup don't fit, you have to acquit!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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