KNOXVILLE, Tennessee - Country music icon Dolly Parton has just received an Honorary Ph D Doctorate Degree of Humane and Musical Letters from the University of Tennessee located at Knoxville.
Dolly, 63, and 40-DD, was introduced at the graduation ceremony by the University's Head of The Banjo Department Cyrus "Bubba Guy" Plankerputt.
Plankerputt said that he has been a fan of Dolly's ever since he first saw her performing barefooted and in a blue gingham halter top and a pair of torn jean short shorts on a local Knoxville hoedown music show named "Hold On To Your Britches, Cause I'm Fixin' To Play The Hell Out Of This Here Damn Banjo."
Dolly's husband Carl Dean, who no one had seen since 1973, sat next to his wife quietly reading a copy of the book Asphalt Paving for Fun and Profit.
Dolly was honored with a complimentary speech given by Dean Argyle Pianowood who gave her one heck of a tight hug and a semi-French kiss. Dolly grinned and said that, that was the second Dean who had kissed her so far today.
When Miss Parton was presented with her honorary Ph D Doctorate Degree, she smiled, brushed back a tear, and remarked that she would cherish her new Ph D DD as much as she has always cherished her other DD's.
Dolly was also presented with a pewter plaque honoring the fact that she has always spoken very highly of the city of Knoxville.
The plaque read:
The little bitty old country gal with the big heart and even bigger hooters who the University of Tennessee male students and male professors agree has the best-looking knockers in all of Knoxville.
After thanking the Dean and the University of Tennessee students, parents, and professors she was handed a guitar and asked to please play a song or two.
Dolly obliged them and two hours later, she finished her last song and her and her husband left the building.
In a related story. Before Dolly left the university campus she donated one of her 40-DD bras to be auctioned off on eBay with all the proceeds going to buy the university's music department some new harmonicas, kazoos, banjos, and tambourines.