The Fox Network has just reported that Paula Abdul is out and Susan Boyle is in as the next American Idol judge. When asked what she thought about spending a few months seated next to Simon Cowell, Boyle replied, "Well, if I can't have Piers, then I guess Simon will have to do. Now be a good dear and run fetch me an ale, will you luv?"
With the news, all hell has broken loose at Fox. Paula accused Cowell and Simon Fuller of British cronyism saying "Why the hell don't you fire Randy and Kara too and hire Simon Says? I'm sure he's another Englishman you're just dying to work with." Which made no sense because Simon Says is a game not a person, although it does trace its origins back to Medieval times, and Boyle's first name is Susan, not Simon; however it does start with an S, which must account for something.
Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi could care less, they've been re-signed.