Written by Wire Piddle

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

image for Says Dad To Lily Collins - 'Stay Away From Adam Lambert'
Adam Lambert Sailing To The UK

London, UK - Celebutant Lily Collins, daughter of drummer Phil Collins, has been told by her father to stay away from American Idol Adam Lambert. Said father Phil, "Adam Lambert is a football hooligan, a lout. I don't want him anywhere near my daughter!"

Speaking at the debut of the new Harry Potter movie, Lily Collins responded to her father's stern warning. "What is he talking about? Adam Lambert hasn't got anything to do with football. Adam Lambert is a flaming bisexual singer with a penchant for coloured hair, fancy dresses and spends all his time in stylist's chairs getting his nails done. This just goes to show you what you have to put up with when your father is old enough to be your great-grandfather. I don't care what the old fart has to say. Besides, I'm an adult now. I'll do what I like."

When told of his mistake, Phil Collins responded, "Oh. I didn't know Adam Lambert was a flaming bisexual singer with a penchant for coloured hair, fancy dresses who spends all his time in stylist's chairs getting his nails done. My mistake. I apologize. I seem to overreact when it comes to who my daughter spends her time with."

Subsequent to this Ms. Collins was seen in a sweet shop off Picadilly Circus, holding the well manicured hand of a rather tall gentleman with purple hair wearing a number from Versace.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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