Michael Jackson Fans Disrupt Memorial at Staples Center

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

image for Michael Jackson Fans Disrupt Memorial at Staples Center
In the immortal lyrics by "The Squeeze"...Michael Jackson is: "A Hard Act Follow" anyway you want to cut it

Los Angeles, California - A relatively small but outspoken group of true Michael Jackson fans in attendance of the ticketed event only at the Staples Center for their namesake fallen hero, The King of Pop, disrupted the memorial proceedings today by suddenly breaking into the carefully planned and scripted service with an unscheduled and unannounced tributary choreographed song and dance routine of their own.

Taken from the award winning "Thriller" album, song and video, which was played on boom boxes that were smuggled pass security and into the venue somehow, 20 or more dancers dressed up as zombies stood up and began doing the "Thriller" dance in perfect unison.

"At first, everyone broke out into applause and cheers," said a Trisha Washington, a Michael Jackson fan who watched from her seat. "They were so good, we all thought they were professionals performing as part of the memorial service."

That was until another large group of Michael Jackson fans seated on the opposite side of the sports arena stood up and started their own tributary choreographed song and dance routine, only from the "Bad" song and video, played on their contraband boom boxes.

"But they were not the only ones," said Washington, pointing to the location inside the venue where yet a third dance troop appeared. "Another group of dancers came in form the stadium's maintenance entrance and started grooving to the 'Beat It' tune. They looked so old school with their 1980s style retro look. Wearing those nasty ratty looking headbands, red leather silver studded jackets and carrying ghetto blasters on their shoulders. But they were cool, too."

All three choreographed dance troops with their spinning, lunging and kicking in the air then converged for a dance off on center stage where the memorial services were being conducted and the body of Michael Jackson lay instate in a closed golden coffin.

With the crowd still applauding and cheering, officials conducting the event allowed the dancers access to the stage.

"I thought the 'Thriller' dancers were good but when I saw the 'Bad' and the 'Beat It' dancers, I changed my mind," said Washington.

Apparently so did the thousands of Michael Jackson fans in attendance as they voted by applause which dance group was the best, with the 'Beat It' dancers winning.

"That's when it got ugly," said Frank Jones, Chief of Security at the Staples Center.

As the other 'Bad' and 'Beat It' dancers politely stepped down from the stage, the 'Thriller' dancers refused to budge.

"Literally, they just stood there like zombies. Well, you know what I mean," said Washington.

Security had no choice but prepare to remove the "Thriller" dancers by force. However moments before they attempted to do so, taking back the stage, the dancers once again started playing the "Thriller" song on their boom boxes.

"They began dancing around like zombies again," said Jones. "But since they left the stage in an orderly and peaceful manner, no use of force was necessary."

"We all applauded and cheered again," said Washington. "Until we saw Michael Jackson's body was missing from the coffin. Then we all let out a gasp."

Like the legendary last ride of El Cid or Captain Ahab's last dying stabbing throws into the white whale as he sank into the ocean's abyss strapped to the beast in the novel "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville, the lifeless body Michael Jackson, tied to the chest of one of the dancers, performed for the last time, "Thriller".

As the macabre procession of dancing zombies lead by Michael Jackson passed by Trisha Washington, she looked on with the other thousands of members of the audience in an unspoken eerie sense of irony that seized them all into a state of unbroken silence; save for the rhythmic head bobbing and finger snapping set to the beat of the echoing soundtrack and lyrics of the "Thriller" song.

With his thin lanky inanimate arms stretched out before him in the traditional zombie pose, a move synchronized with precision with the assistance of the other living dancers, Michael Jackson exited the Staples Center stadium like the adamant professional entertainer he was and with the dignity he had when he was alive...For This Is Thriller!!!!!!

"Ha, ha, ha," echoed the dying laughter of Vincent Price's voice from the "Thriller" soundtrack, as the lights inside the arena were turned off.

But in the darkness arose a sea of flickering cigarette lighters and the audience to their feet in final tribute, or perhaps more in denial, of their King of Pop passing. Whistling and applauding in the darkness, they blindingly demanded an encore.

Suddenly the house lights were turned up again and the song "Thriller" played again.

Only the lifeless body of Michael Jackson was once again, back on the stage, resting in his closed golden casket.

"You know," said Washington, while walking to her car with the "Thriller" music still playing in the background, coming from inside the stadium. "I would have stayed for the fifteenth encore, but I got work tomorrow. Otherwise, I wouldn't have left so early -- The show was that good -- And even though Michael Jackson is dead, you couldn't really tell. No. Not with those moves he was making. I sure hope they don't cancel the other 49 shows of the tour. But take Michael Jackson out on the road again."

"Rest in peace, Michael Jackson," said Jones. "That is, if they'll ever let you."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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