"I thought no one cared," said Michael Jackson as he watched his funeral on the television set in the lounge of the five-star hotel in Disneyland Paris where he now lives.
The pop star arrived at the theme-park outside the French capital eight hours after he was supposed to have died at his home in California.
"He just walked in, sat down at the table over there by the window and asked for a burger, a large portion of fries and an unopened bottle of ketchup," said Mam'zelle Mimi, a waitress at MacNotDo, a fast-food restaurant.
The chambermaid at the hotel where he has taken over six floors said that Monsieur Jackzohnn is no problem at all.
"He's been cleaning all the rooms on all the floors himself from the day he booked in. He even remakes all the beds every morning although no one has of course slept in them," she told us.
Michael Jackson who arrived at the theme-park unaccompanied has now begun negotiations to buy the hotel.
"We're seriously considering his offer - ten U.S dollars. Not much we know but we're thinking ahead. Millions and millions will come to the resort just to see him - forget about Mickey and Donald - and we would be able to open at least another dozen hotels here," a spokesman for Robert Mugabe, the hotel's Zimbabwean owner, said.
A million Parisians are now marching on to the theme-part hoping to see the star.
"Ve just vant to kizz him oh la la. Ve are zo 'appy 'e iz not dead," said one of the marchers.
A spokesman for the Paris police said that they expected that two million Parisians would be marching to Disneyland but that the other million had decided to set off on their annual summer holiday instead.