A crappy spoof writer, who will not be named, has been writing shitty spoof stories on TheSpoof.com that are very similar to extremely clever spoof stories by superior writers, and is getting almost as many - and sometimes even more - hits.
"As long as people don't know how wretchedly awful my ill-conceived story really is, and don't even see my name until they open up my crappy stories to read them, I'll keep churning out total crap and get my shit in the top five on TheSpoof.com," the nameless spoof writer was quoted as saying.
"I find doing this almost as enjoyable as farting a silent-but-deadly fart in a elevator right as I get off, while a crowd of people are waiting to get in to go up. It's not as much fun to do it for people waiting to go down, because I figure the smell will linger longer if the elevator is rising.
"My secret is to wait until a story makes it into the 'top five of the day', before I decide to spoof it. Lately, any story with the name 'Adam Lambert' in it is almost guaranteed to get 2,000 hits, which is why I used his name in the title of this crappy story, which isn't even about him. I also like to include a picture of a hot woman with the story, even if the story has nothing to do with hot women. As long as no one else figures this out, I'll continue to churn out absolute rubbish. I don't even know who Adam Lambert is.
"I find this almost as enjoyable as taking a really huge stinking shit in a small restroom, when people are waiting outside on a blistering hot day, and purposely not flushing the toilet, especially in a filthy gas station right after I've clogged the only working commode in fifty miles with toilet paper and my foot-long turds. That's why I enjoy living in the middle of the nowhere, which makes not having any friends not that bad."
When asked what his motivation was for such a diabolical strategy, inundating his literal shit onto innocent, unsuspecting people's lives, the writer farted a loud, stinky fart that sounded like a really wet one, too, and replied that it was his way of getting even for that "D" he made in junior high school journalism.
"Excuse me, I must stop this interview and get back to churning out some absolutely horrifically awful shit for this website," concluded the hack who will remain nameless and has nothing better to do with his time, except for his absolutely favorite thing in the world, which is leaving an upper-decker turd in the clean water tank of the toilet, because those can stink up a restroom for days, but even that isn't as much fun as letting a real stinker go out on TheSpoof.com and rating it with five stars, then awarding one star to all the really good stories he spoofs in the crappy way that only he can.