Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 17 April 2009

image for Britain's Got Talent Susan Boyle Immune From Spoofery
Susan at home

Susan Boyle, the Scottish lady who appeared on last weekend's edition of Britain's Got Talent, has upset members of the international spoofing fraternity, after it was announced that the singer's story is so unbelievably ridiculous, that she is completely immune to spoofery.

The unemployed church worker, 47, captured viewers' hearts with her story of "having never been kissed."

She lives alone in West Lothian with her cat, Pebbles, and previously cared for her ill mother, who died a couple of years ago.

She has remained an undiscovered talent in Scotland all of her life, and even neighbours who heard her singing whilst she was in the bath, say they are shocked by her stunning performance on BGT.

One of them, Alice Cobbleshite, 81, said:

"Och, I hearrrd the lass, but it wuz such a fucken racket, I put a pillow over my heed, an went to ma bed!"

Piers Morgan, one of the show's judges, said:

"It's the biggest surprise I've had in my three years on the show. Who would have thought that this bumbling wreck of a woman, who has never been kissed, and who can't even hold down a church job, could sing like that? It's miraculous!"

And Simon Cowell, his boss, commented:

"Her story is so weird, you couldn't have made it up. She's a freak. I love her!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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