On one hundred and seventy-third anniversary of the battle for the Alamo where a couple of hundred of American cavalry soldiers were massacred by several hundred Mexicans, Hollywood is to remake the classic John Wayne western of the event in true Hollywood style.
Kevin Bacon and Al Pacino will team up as Bowie and Travis left to defend the walls against the massing Mexican hordes. This will provide the players of the Kevin Bacon game with a few more links in the chain.
Anotnio Bandares will play Santa Anna, the leader of the Mexican forces.
There the links with history end, and Hollywood have applied their own unique styling to the event.
The initial two attacks on the monastery-cum-fort that were repelled will be relived in full Dolby stereo, but the final attack which led to the Texan massacre will be changed so that the Texans win, with just Bacon and Pacino left alive amid the battle field.
"It's going to be a visual feast," said Enigma director, Michael Apter who has been brought in to direct the film. "We're using the latest computer graphics to represent the hundred thousand Mexicans. Breathtaking."
Hollywood insider magazine, Hollow Wood, has slammed the rewriting of history yet again by Tinsel Town.
"How do they think they can get away with it?" asked Margaret Zine, editor of Hollow Wood. "Part of the iconography of the film is that the Mexicans won. It'll dilute the whole memory of the slaughter."
Most viewers these days don't care for historical accuracy though, and just want to see people blown up. Something the film is promising in spades.
"Who cares about history?" Apter responded. "History's for geeks. We want explosions. Do you know whether or not the sub-machine gun and hand-grenade had been invented then? Doesn't matter, we'll have them anyway."
