Twilight Author is Abstinence Only Mormon Conservative Vamp

Funny story written by Pointer

Thursday, 4 December 2008

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Twilight vamps can't get no satisfaction!!

Twilight series author and budding billionairess, Stephanie Meyers said that she was proud of her sexsual morality tale in which no one gets to get it on whether its sex or blood that turns them on:

" My religion has always taught me that the biggest excitement comes from self denial. We surround ourselves as Latter Day Saints with bloody tales of whippings, crucifixions and martyrdom. The prostitute with the changed heart of golden faith has been there seducing us for centuries.

" So what other kind of book could I have written. I delight in filling the imaginations of sex starved and emotionally violent teens with my tales of sex starved and blood thirsty abstinent vampires and the ones who lust after them.It's a religious masochistic celebration of dissatisfaction. What do you think the Rolling Stones were singing about!? Like Mick Jagger, I'm thanking Jesus all the way to the bank!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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