Birmingham - (Ass Mess): Tory Party faithful are primed to dump Viscunt (sic) Astor's sinister stepson-in-law stooge and back civil liberties hotshot David Davis.
The move follows a massive row about David Cameron's pubic schmoozing of Barack Obama.
A subsequent Buckingham Palace snub to invite US vice presidential wannabe Sarah Palin to tea with the Queen next week hardly helped matters.
"Cameron thinks he's pulled off a class act," one disgruntled has-been backbencher told TheSpoof.com today.
"However he's failed to get Palin - or Miley Cyrus/Vanessa Hudgens for that matter - to strip off their kit in front of Conference cameras, like he promised us back in July.
"And it's no good promising us a nudge-nudge, wink-wink Daniel Radcliffe nude, interactive, porny video instead at one of the fringe events, either.
"Besides, his wife looks like a whorse."
Margaret Thatcher is 101.