London - (Fetid Ass Mess): A senior divorce judge heard today Paul McCartney's testimony that Heather Mills had been penetrated by Abu Hamza.
"The nutter cleric believed she'd lost her leg in a Sharia Law-imposed punishment after screwing over countless rich foreign potentates, M'Lud," McCartney claimed.
McCartney said he may have been the victim of a hypnotic psychosis that lured to sleepwalk into the disastrous marriage.
"She dazzled me with so much plausible veggie psycho-babble I actually believed we could be soul-mates," the daftass sexagarian crooner said.
McCartney's attorney went on to describe how his client discovered Mills had found out that the Beatles' former mentor the Maharishi Hashish Yogi was the biological father of Osama in Laden.
"The only reason she married Paul McCartney was to blackmail him, bleed him of his dosh and give herself respectability after a lifetime of earning money in seedy Park Lane brothels."
The hearing continues.