Los Angeles - (Reuterus): An extraterrestrial inseminator is the prime paternity suspect today following reports that Christina Aguilera and Nicole Ritchie both gave birth at the same time in adjacent delivery rooms and the Seedy Signs Maternity Clinic in LA.
Neither birth was by Caesarean Section, adding mystery to the synchronicity of the spawnings.
Ritchie's child, a baby girl, is reported to have been named Whorelow Kate Madden, while Aguilera's boy child may take on the singer's partner's surname of Bratman "because it's kinda indicative of what kind of dysfunction to expect for the next 18 years."
"Just hope they don't change the brat's name to some kooky LA-speak like Attention-Deficit-Syndrome," one of the clinic's obstetricians said today.
Internet spread-betting website Aintgottaprayer.com is giving odds of 2/1 that in 17 years time the Aguilera and Ritchie kids will marry during a Richard Branson-Virgin Intergalactic-sponsored Mars fly-past during an eclipsed full moon.