LaWhore, Pakissmyasstan- The self-elected President of Autocratic Repulic of Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf today assumed total control of the country's nuclear arsenal.
Refusing to give the responsibility to anybody else, Mush said "These bums are nooklur and so very dangerful- nobody from the gomment or ammy has the guts to handle the nooklur things. I have to protect and serve the.. err.. arsehouse.. arse.. WHATEVER!" Maybe 'arsenal' is what you mean, Mister President!
"I have fommed the National Command Authority, which will beheaded by me. So I will be its President and Chairman. My trusted butler cum PM Shaukat Aziz will continue to assist me and so will the Joint Cheap Staffs of Navy, Ammy, Air Farce and Taliban."
The nuclear weaponry of Pakistan has been a cause of major concern internationally because of close proximity of militants. However, Musharraf rubbished these rumours, saying "no militants are close to the nooklur bases- we have now erected fences around them" and that "all important militants are now occupying key positions in the ammy or gomment - so technically they're not militants anymore."
However, neighbouring India remains unfazed. "The Paki nuclear bombs remain a big ball of gas- 'cause all their documentation is still in Chinese!!" winks an Indian diplomat, pointing towards China.
