Banksy: "immortalize Vanessa Hudgens' breasts in oils"

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 12 September 2007


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image for Banksy: "immortalize Vanessa Hudgens' breasts in oils"
Banksy's prep sketch for the Hudgens portrait

New York - (Cheeky Ass Mess): Artist Banksy has told a US TV show that High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens' breasts "should be immortalised in oils":

"First, I would recommend that a skilled masseur prepares Miss Hudgens' stunning talking points with a shiatzu workout using cocoabutter, lanolin, goosefat and Dom Perignon mixture."

"About three bottled of the '96 vintage should do it.

"This would guarantee that a portrait sitting of several hours duration wouldn't have to be interrupted with the usual half-hourly nipple stimulation necessary to do the sitter justice.

"Of course a lot of portrait artists use blow-fans to achieve a similar effect.

"But in Miss Hudgens' case this would be inappropriate.

"I'd favor leaving the massaging cream on her breasts.

"It would make a better picture - especially if those twin peaks were sprinkled with some cake frosting like Hundreds 'N' Thousands.

"How much sweeter can ya get?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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