Tricky Ricky Apologizes for Foxy Brown

Funny story written by Johnny Ovaltine

Thursday, 16 August 2007

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Police Artists' Rendering

Brooklyn, NY--The Trickster has come forward and made a public statement accepting responsibility for one of his former pupil's aggressiveness. "She was a fast learner and a capable student but, when she wanted to get romantically involved, I had to let her [Foxy] go."

Brown, whose real name was Cunnilinga Marchingband, shortened it to Inga Marchand but still had trouble spelling it so she changed it to Foxy Brown, was not available for comment. A spokesman for the gangsta-rapper said, "She learned that in typing class in school, you know, 'the quick sly FOX jumped over the lazy BROWN dog'. It just stuck."

You may recall she was in trouble with the law in 2004 for opening a can of whoop-a** on two nail salon clerks because they glued one of her nails on crooked. When asked why she did it she said, "This is Bed-Sty, you gotta do or die…"

Rickaroni's apology comes on the heels of the latest incident involving Foxy where she is accused of bustin' a chick in the mouth with her Blackberry whereby effectively splitting the woman's lip and knocking a tooth out.

Johnny Cochran who will be representing Ms. Brown said, "This is a gross miscarriage of justice. My client was just trying to be friendly to that woman." Foxy alleges that she 'lobbed' the phone to the woman who asked if she could make a call on it. But witnesses refute this claim saying they clearly saw her wind-up like she was making a pitch. "I was like 'oh, snap!' you know? The lady wasn't even looking. She was like Nolan Ryan bringing that thing way back from Georgia. She threw it first and then called the lady, 'Hey!', and when she turned around, Bam! Yo, that's messed up man…"

The Department of Probing threatened her with jail time but Brown said, "Sheeeiiit, if Paris could do it…" The rapper posted 50 grand to avoid lock-down but waited until officers finished multiple cavity searches on her. No drugs were found but several detectives could tell you what she had for lunch and dinner the night before.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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