George W. Bush's least trustworthy architect yesterday revealed blueprints of a plan to recarve American monument Mount Rushmore, which currently displays the heads of the four founding fathers, into an erotic picture of Bush naked, including the breasts formerly only known to exist by Dick Cheney.
Conspiracy theorists have dubbed the plans the work of Klingons, Martians, several evil hermits, Zeus, Harry Potter and/or the reverse vampires, while leading evangelist Revd. Hugh J. Cockburn persists that the development is the work of the devil.
"Not even an evil, twisted, conceited ******* like Bush could think of something like that. Only the Master Sinner could have perpetrated such an unholy act."
Worshippers of Satan have played down his involvement, with one prominent worshipper confiding that; "If he was involved, it was probably a minor offence of 'aiding and abetting pornographic statues of a US president', and not one of 'being a Lord of Supreme Darkness' on which our master's first count is due to go to court next Sunday."
