Elvis' Pills Sold at Auction

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Sunday, 17 June 2007

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The King on Drugs

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - BEVERLY HILLS - A gold-plated gun and a pill bottle owned by Elvis Presley were auctioned off at the Beverly Hilton Hotel this weekend, as was a microphone used by the rock icon on the Louisiana Hayride in the 1950s.

The gun brought in $28,800, the microphone brought in $15,000, but the pills brought in a whopping $1,000,000.00. The bidding was frantic for the pills as everyone wanted to get a taste of what killed the King.

"He must have had some awfully strong pharmaceuticals," said one unsuccessful bidder. "I wish I could have gotten my hands on those!"

The winner of the pill bottle was disheartened when police came and interrupted the sale.

"We'd planned to sell the bottle with the pills, but the Los Angeles Police Department told us it would be a federal crime to do it, so sad to say we had to remove the pills," Julien said after the auction.

The police confiscated the medication, then promptly took all of it before they "left the building."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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