Written by Jalapenoman

Thursday, 14 June 2007

image for Whoopi Goldberg to Replace Rosie O'Donnell on The View
Rosie has different views than Whoopi

Whoopi Goldberg has signed a contract to replace Rosie O'Donnell on The View. Whoopi, another actress who started out as a comedian and had her own talk show, is hoped to bring some civility and normalcy to the show.

In an exclusive interview, Whoopi answered the following questions about her role on The View:

Q: What will be different with you on the show?

A: You blind? I'm black, she's white. Don't attempt to adjust the color on your set, cuz now you got some color on your set.

Q: Besides race, do you see any other differences?

A: Well, everyone knows I've got the corn rows, while Rosies buddies went for the corn holes!

Q: Will you have the same animosity towards Ms. Hasselbeck that Rosie did?

A: Not if her husband can cover the point spread! He throws a few interceptions, and I'm gonna open up a can of Whoopi ass on her!

Q: What is your opinion on the war in Iraq and the soldiers over there?

A: You trying to get me in trouble already? I think we should ship The White House and the Congress over there to fight the war and bring the soldiers back home to finish growing up and learning how to shave. Washington wanted this, regardless of their flip flops today, and they should take care of it themselves.

Q: Can you bring back the singing nuns from Sister Act for a special appearance on The View?

A: Did Rosie bring back them hunky guys from her S&M movie with Dan Ackroyd?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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