Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 14 June 2007

image for Big Brother Emily To Sue Channel 4 In Racial Discrimination Row
Rastus Irksum QC

Expelled Big Brother housemate Emily Parr has threatened Channel 4 with court action over her ousting from the House last week.

Emily used the racially offensive n-word "nigger" during a conversation with the deranged 'nutter' Charley. She was then the victim of a premature ejaculation at 3.30am last Thursday, 7th June, whilst still in her bedclothes.

Now, after having taken legal advice, she claims she was the victim of racial discrimination by virtue of the fact that, had a 'nutter' uttered the word 'nigger', then that 'nutter' would not have been kicked out of the show.

Yesterday, Miss Parr's solicitor Rastus Irksum read out a statement from his client, which said:

"I never meant to use the word 'nigger' in an offensive way. Where I live, 'nigger' is a term of endearment. Anyone who knows me will know that I am no racist. I have lots of friends that are niggers. My niggers love me, and I love my niggers. By golly, I'm a nigger-lover."

Mr Irksum went on to explain that Channel 4 had discriminated against Miss Parr, because, had a black housemate used the wotd 'nigger', either non-offensively or offensively, nobody would have 'batted an eyelid'.

"But", he said, "because Emily is a white-assed ho, those niggers threw the bitch out on her ass."

Channel 4 bosses have not responded to the news.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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