Michael Jackson Drops Bid to Block Vegas Auction

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Friday, 18 May 2007

image for Michael Jackson Drops Bid to Block Vegas Auction
Michael Jackson hiding gloved hand from camera

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Las Vegas - Michael Jackson's lawyers dropped a bid to block an auction of a warehouse full of Jackson's belongings. It was a failed business venture that wound Jackson up in the bankruptcy court.

Jackson tried to have the auction blocked, claiming it was his personal property because items such as his fake nose, the black of his old skin, the Jesus Juice bottles, and several pairs of little boys underwear were in the warehouse.

Jackson didn't appear in the court, sighting that he couldn't appear without his fake nose.

"The matter's been resolved," said Jackson's lawyer, Gregory Cross, as he addressed the Judge.

Clark County District Court Judge Elizabeth Gonzalez, cousin of Alberto Gonzales, was overseeing the hearing. She denied Jackson's punitive damage claim.

According to court records, Universal Express Inc., the Boca Raton, Fla., luggage transportation company that owns the items, claimed the materials were worth about $50 million.

Arlan Ettinger, president of Guernsey's auction house of New York, said that the auction will go on as scheduled May 30-31 at the Rock Hard hotel in Las Vegas.

Jackson, who is now 48, has been living in Las Vegas while he evaluates proposals for a comeback from his 2005 acquittal on child molestation charges.

"It should be safe for me to molest children again now," said Jackson.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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