Too Many Headlines And What Is 3I-Atlas?

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 7 December 2025

image for Too Many Headlines And What Is 3I-Atlas?
Brace yourselves: Something is coming and it ain't Santa.

Headlines: Donald Trump Suffering Dementia; Prime Minister Keir Starmer Says No To King of England; King of England Says No To Keir Starmer; Moscow Is Burning; Donald Trump Insists He is In Best Shape Ever; Ukraine Drones Destroy Moscow; Oligarchs Are Fleeing Russia; Putin In Hiding; J. D. Vance Marriage A Question Mark; and Fergie To Write Tell All Book.

But most importantly: What is 3I-Atlas?  

3I-Atlas is not Santa Claus, headed toward planet Earth to bring Christmas gifts. Santa drives a sled pulled by reindeer and lives on planet earth. So they say... 

3I-Atlas is not an accidental comet skipping into the Milky-Wave, moving toward planet earth for a ”Ho hmmm," look-see.

Seems 3I-Atlas can make sharp left turns, then right, no signals given, can slow down, then speed up, travel close behind the sun without melting, drive sort of like Steve McQueen in the film Bullet speeding through the streets of San Francisco.
 
One of Earth’s space telescope (Webb or Hubble?) announced there might be intelligent life aboard. Really? No kidding?

It isn't God. God doesn't need a spaceship. God would show up at one’s elbow like boom! Also, it's a good bet God wouldn't accept someone’s immediate apology for saying, “God damn it,” following every negative experience.  

However, 3I-Atlas may actually be a space age, messenger traveling to planet earth, located in the Milky Way galaxy, and giving earth a short, stern message: Wars are destroying planet earth just about as quickly as global warming. Also, high-rise buildings are destabilizing Earth’s tectonic plates, and causing more earthquakes around the world. And stop killing and eating animals.  

Whatever it is, 3I-Atlas seems directed toward earth, has a message, and is pissed.  

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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